Narration:. So yeah… it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, as daddy readies himself for another day of babysitting. Daddy: “Good morning baby.”. Baby: “Good morning daddy.” (baby sticks knife in socket and dies). Daddy: “WHAT TH-. OH MY GOD!”. * Text: “9 months later” *. Impossible to keep a good family down, they have baby number two. Daddy starts taking extra special care…. Daddy: “Who’s ready for breakfast?”. Baby: “Me!!” (baby drinks gallon of bleach and dies). Daddy: “NO. DAMN IT!”. * Text: “9 months later” *. Alright third try’s the charm. |--| Daddy: “How about something simple. A bath!”. Baby: “I love baths!” (baby under the water gurgles and drowns). Daddy: “WHY DOES YOUR MOTHER LEAVE US ALONE???!!”. * Text: “9 months later” *. Daddy: “Light a candle…??”. Baby: “Smells good!” (gas can next to him, touches candle, bursts into flame and dies). * Text: “9 months later” *. Daddy: “Do the laundry…??”. Baby: (already rolling around in the washing machine) “I can help!”. * Text: “9 months later” *. Mommy: (on phone) “There’s a bun in the oven!”. Daddy: “There’s a baby in the oven!” (baby cooking in the oven). * Text: “9 months later” *. Daddy: “Ok. Mommy’s out again, so I’m just going to drive you to the hospital, and watch you there. In the car. In the parking lot. Just in case.". Baby: “Sounds good daddy!”. (baby floors it into the garage door, car explodes). Daddy: “Ok, screw it.”.